I really like this song they sing at Rockharbor with the refrain:
Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am for your kingdom's cause
As I go from nothing to
Eternity
----------------------------------
That fourth line is so powerful. I recognize it from a book I read called "The Hole In Our Gospel" by the president of World Vision, an incredibly inspiring book. In the book, a story is told of the former president of WV who initially started his ministry with the prayer: Lord break my heart from what breaks Yours. After reading that testimony in the oppressive heat of my dusty upstairs loft in Morocco, I prayed that same prayer that night. It's a dangerous, dangerous prayer. Even though I consider myself a strictly logical person, I do recognize that the only things we act on are the things we feel something about. There is no strict process of logic that tells me to help the man lying in the street, unless I feel something - compassion, pity - I won't do anything. When God gives you that heart, it comes with responsibility for action.
Luke records Jesus cruising into the temple one time, and He gets handed some scroll to read in front of everyone. Jesus scrolls (literally) to Isaiah and reads this:
"The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to bring glad tidings to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim liberty to captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to let the oppressed go free, and to proclaim the year of the Lord."
As He goes to sit down, Luke says everyone was looking at Him. Then Jesus says:
"Today this scripture passage is fulfilled in your hearing."
When I first read that passage in Luke I looked up and said "oh snap!". If anyone ever thinks Jesus never claimed to be the messiah, have a look there. What I really take from this passage though is that Jesus basically just defined his mission statement. Why is He on Earth? To help the poor, captives, blind, and oppressed. Jesus was a man of action and nothing less. May I be as well.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Friday, September 11, 2009
Greatest Metaphor I've Heard All Week
Haven't written in a dang good while.
Today I begin my collection of Sahid stories. About 3 weeks ago, I cruised down to the BBQ to cook up a bunch of food. Now because there are only 2 BBQ's in the complex, they are often occupied, and people aren't always willing to offer up a little open space on the grill. So I walk up to this old looking Arabic looking guy and ask if he has any spare room on the grill for me. The man turns around with a big sweeping gesture and says "my friend, everything I have is yours!". I knew I was in for a good experience.
He introduced himself as Professor Sahid, and is an Egyptian man somewhere in his 60's I'd venture to guess. Professor Sahid is a professor of IT, takes great pride in his work, is full of wild stories, and serves up abundant advice and wisdom along with well cooked chicken in a most delicious marinade. Previously, I have received advice on how to select a good wingman while in times of war, how to be a successful physician (read books - point well taken), how to balance my life and studies, and why not to convert to Islam to marry a Muslim woman.
This evening I met Sahid again down at the BBQ. Like clockwork, he moved his food over, offered me the leftovers of his marinade for my steaks, and took charge over them on the grill. The most memorable story of tonight was the time when, in the Egyptian Army, a man approached him about a shark problem that was interfering with his fishing. Without thinking twice, Sahid stuck a bomb inside a fish, put the fish on a hook, and threw that fish into the water on a line. When the shark grabbed it, he hit the detonator, and poof, no more shark!
As much as I may suspect Sahid's stories are slightly embellished or that his advice is self indulgent, I have great respect for all elders, and understand that wisdom comes from experience. I also understand and respect Arabic hospitality, and know that when he says he has a place for me in Egypt any time I want, I know he means it and I hope to one day take him up on the offer.
Cheers to you, Sahid.
PS. Today marks me being back from Thailand for one year now. I was going to say back in the US, but I've only spent 3 full months in the country this year. How blessed I am.
Today I begin my collection of Sahid stories. About 3 weeks ago, I cruised down to the BBQ to cook up a bunch of food. Now because there are only 2 BBQ's in the complex, they are often occupied, and people aren't always willing to offer up a little open space on the grill. So I walk up to this old looking Arabic looking guy and ask if he has any spare room on the grill for me. The man turns around with a big sweeping gesture and says "my friend, everything I have is yours!". I knew I was in for a good experience.
He introduced himself as Professor Sahid, and is an Egyptian man somewhere in his 60's I'd venture to guess. Professor Sahid is a professor of IT, takes great pride in his work, is full of wild stories, and serves up abundant advice and wisdom along with well cooked chicken in a most delicious marinade. Previously, I have received advice on how to select a good wingman while in times of war, how to be a successful physician (read books - point well taken), how to balance my life and studies, and why not to convert to Islam to marry a Muslim woman.
This evening I met Sahid again down at the BBQ. Like clockwork, he moved his food over, offered me the leftovers of his marinade for my steaks, and took charge over them on the grill. The most memorable story of tonight was the time when, in the Egyptian Army, a man approached him about a shark problem that was interfering with his fishing. Without thinking twice, Sahid stuck a bomb inside a fish, put the fish on a hook, and threw that fish into the water on a line. When the shark grabbed it, he hit the detonator, and poof, no more shark!
As much as I may suspect Sahid's stories are slightly embellished or that his advice is self indulgent, I have great respect for all elders, and understand that wisdom comes from experience. I also understand and respect Arabic hospitality, and know that when he says he has a place for me in Egypt any time I want, I know he means it and I hope to one day take him up on the offer.
Cheers to you, Sahid.
PS. Today marks me being back from Thailand for one year now. I was going to say back in the US, but I've only spent 3 full months in the country this year. How blessed I am.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Return
I thought I might like to write a little bit since I haven't in awhile.
About 19 months ago I moved to Thailand, a decision that absolutely changed my life...overwhelmingly for the better.
I have grown a lot in the past two years. In the first few weeks of Cambodia and the early days of Thailand, God led me back to Himself, and to me, this has been the most profound shift in my life.
A series of strictly logical problems with theology and Christianity had grown from doubts in to roadblocks as my years progressed at LMU, ultimately leading me to something between a philosophical roadblock and some sort of pragmatic stalemate. To be clear, issues of Justice (capital letters here), Love, and Divine Sovereignty weighed too heavily on my mind to accept God as God. I took God out of the equation, and tried to work things out by myself. In hindsight, this was the wrong approach. Thankfully, a strong upbringing kept me from making drastic changes to my lifestyle, and thankfully again, my stubbornness to change my way of life in light of changes in my worldview exposed a very serious flaw in my own logic.
Thank God for the conscience.
I know the difference between right and wrong, and as much as I wanted to dismiss God because I didn't approve of his creation, I was convicted of my own sin. I know I do wrong no matter how hard I try to do right. I know that wrongs must be punished and therefore I deserve punishment. If you smash my window, I can well enough decide not to make you pay for it (mercy) and I can even forgive you (grace), but the window is still broken. Granting mercy and grace, the only just solution at this point is for me to pay for the window myself. You're already off the hook, and I can't just make someone else pay.
I've known this analogy for years and it's always rang true. I don't follow Jesus because I like "Christianity" the religion, because I like to sing songs and go to church. I follow Jesus because He was actually here, spoke truth, showed Himself as God and offered a solution to the problem of sin.
What an enormous gift, and with it, I feel so driven. I've spent a good portion of the last 2 years of my life hunting down opportunities to serve God. Next week I'll be leaving on my 9th international volunteer project.
In August I will begin my training to do real work, and I've never felt so motivated.
James 1:27
Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.
That deserves meditating on.
About 19 months ago I moved to Thailand, a decision that absolutely changed my life...overwhelmingly for the better.
I have grown a lot in the past two years. In the first few weeks of Cambodia and the early days of Thailand, God led me back to Himself, and to me, this has been the most profound shift in my life.
A series of strictly logical problems with theology and Christianity had grown from doubts in to roadblocks as my years progressed at LMU, ultimately leading me to something between a philosophical roadblock and some sort of pragmatic stalemate. To be clear, issues of Justice (capital letters here), Love, and Divine Sovereignty weighed too heavily on my mind to accept God as God. I took God out of the equation, and tried to work things out by myself. In hindsight, this was the wrong approach. Thankfully, a strong upbringing kept me from making drastic changes to my lifestyle, and thankfully again, my stubbornness to change my way of life in light of changes in my worldview exposed a very serious flaw in my own logic.
Thank God for the conscience.
I know the difference between right and wrong, and as much as I wanted to dismiss God because I didn't approve of his creation, I was convicted of my own sin. I know I do wrong no matter how hard I try to do right. I know that wrongs must be punished and therefore I deserve punishment. If you smash my window, I can well enough decide not to make you pay for it (mercy) and I can even forgive you (grace), but the window is still broken. Granting mercy and grace, the only just solution at this point is for me to pay for the window myself. You're already off the hook, and I can't just make someone else pay.
I've known this analogy for years and it's always rang true. I don't follow Jesus because I like "Christianity" the religion, because I like to sing songs and go to church. I follow Jesus because He was actually here, spoke truth, showed Himself as God and offered a solution to the problem of sin.
What an enormous gift, and with it, I feel so driven. I've spent a good portion of the last 2 years of my life hunting down opportunities to serve God. Next week I'll be leaving on my 9th international volunteer project.
In August I will begin my training to do real work, and I've never felt so motivated.
James 1:27
Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.
That deserves meditating on.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Faces
Tim Dar Gretchen Jen Soban Alila Peter Somjit Bee Nee Jib Om Nui1 Nui2 Mae Gett Luknam Nine Boss N'John Tunk More Moss Eve Noll Deepu Babaji Mamaji Deepesh Hareesh Abdul Rohit Radha Sacha Jay May Lorena Richard Elin Brendan Karina Laurence Tori Nee Maey Susy Magda Philippe Leena Stee Patrick Lizita Chaska Klidy
Loneliness is the price I pay for my impermanence.
Loneliness is the price I pay for my impermanence.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
T is for period
I've been back in America for nearly 2 months now, and unfortunately the previous year of my life has already faded into a dream. I try to close my eyes and walk myself through a day in Chiang Mai, but it still feels so disconnected. Grading papers, preparing lesson plans, teaching classes. Was that me?
I don't really think of it that often, but for some reason every time I'm in church I am overcome with the desire to steal away in the night; pack my bags for Pakistan and never come back. I don't know why I feel that, but it sure is real.
In all honesty, I really enjoy being back home. Not so much being home (this isn't my home). Not so much being with my family (a grown man is evolutionarily designed not to live with his parents). Really it's just about control.
The pastor at my Dad's church gave a very insightful sermon on Sunday. He mentioned self-control as one of the attributes of being a leader and I really began to realize how important and how powerful self-discipline is.
I am a logical person, and rigorously so. Logic is about control, about making wise decisions despite confounding factors. Do you control what you eat and drink or do your wants? your hormones? commercials? fancy boxes? fructose and sucrose? I know I control what I eat. We are no longer animals that need to be driven by obsolete chemical processes.
Do you control what you wear or do the people around you make those decisions? the TV? magazines?
Do you control what you say or do you let your limbic system take over?
There's a part of an O.A.R. song I like that says "when no substance can control you, you done conquered that fool". I don't want to be controlled by anything.
Yams!
Which brings me to what I enjoy about being back here. I enjoy strengthening my body with exercise and proper nutrition, and that is finally back in my hands again. It's fun, it's challenging, it celebrates the tremendous gift that my healthy body is. True I'm bored most of the time. True I feel useless without a job. I'll take care of that soon enough.
Plus, there's this:
I don't really think of it that often, but for some reason every time I'm in church I am overcome with the desire to steal away in the night; pack my bags for Pakistan and never come back. I don't know why I feel that, but it sure is real.
In all honesty, I really enjoy being back home. Not so much being home (this isn't my home). Not so much being with my family (a grown man is evolutionarily designed not to live with his parents). Really it's just about control.
The pastor at my Dad's church gave a very insightful sermon on Sunday. He mentioned self-control as one of the attributes of being a leader and I really began to realize how important and how powerful self-discipline is.
I am a logical person, and rigorously so. Logic is about control, about making wise decisions despite confounding factors. Do you control what you eat and drink or do your wants? your hormones? commercials? fancy boxes? fructose and sucrose? I know I control what I eat. We are no longer animals that need to be driven by obsolete chemical processes.
Do you control what you wear or do the people around you make those decisions? the TV? magazines?
Do you control what you say or do you let your limbic system take over?
There's a part of an O.A.R. song I like that says "when no substance can control you, you done conquered that fool". I don't want to be controlled by anything.
Yams!
Which brings me to what I enjoy about being back here. I enjoy strengthening my body with exercise and proper nutrition, and that is finally back in my hands again. It's fun, it's challenging, it celebrates the tremendous gift that my healthy body is. True I'm bored most of the time. True I feel useless without a job. I'll take care of that soon enough.
Plus, there's this:
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Borrowed Time
They don't know what love is
That's why when they stumble they fall
They don't know what love is
Hatred has conquered them all
Can't praise God with your carnal mind
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Let's Review
September 2008:
17th Arrive in DC
18th Interview at Georgetown
19th Hang out with Gretchen. Fly out to Cleveland - awesome day
20th Play golf with Case Western's dean of student life
21st Go to Indians game with Bob
22nd Interview at Case Western. Hitch a ride down to Columbus with fellow interviewee. Eat the biggest burger of all time with Tori and her sister.
23rd Hang out at Ohio State University and get free stuff. Bus to Cincinnati and have Thai food with Jules.
24th Get free food at Xavier. Meet up with old lab colleague. Hang out with Jules and housemates.
25th Begin Greyhound bus ride at 6:15am
26th Arrive in Winston-Salem, North Carolina at 3:30am (nothing like a 21 hour bus ride with 2 breakdowns!) Interview at Wake Forest at 10am.
27th Take it easy in Sheevaun's friend's apartment
28th Miss flight to New Orleans this morning.
Who knows what's next?
17th Arrive in DC
18th Interview at Georgetown
19th Hang out with Gretchen. Fly out to Cleveland - awesome day
20th Play golf with Case Western's dean of student life
21st Go to Indians game with Bob
22nd Interview at Case Western. Hitch a ride down to Columbus with fellow interviewee. Eat the biggest burger of all time with Tori and her sister.
23rd Hang out at Ohio State University and get free stuff. Bus to Cincinnati and have Thai food with Jules.
24th Get free food at Xavier. Meet up with old lab colleague. Hang out with Jules and housemates.
25th Begin Greyhound bus ride at 6:15am
26th Arrive in Winston-Salem, North Carolina at 3:30am (nothing like a 21 hour bus ride with 2 breakdowns!) Interview at Wake Forest at 10am.
27th Take it easy in Sheevaun's friend's apartment
28th Miss flight to New Orleans this morning.
Who knows what's next?
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